As salaamu alaikum (Peace be upon you)
Dowry, which is usually defined as a “gift” given along with the bride by a bride’s family to the bridegroom, is used as a tool of coercion and greed in societies like India. The bride’s family must give this “gift” or the marriage will not take place. Always the price of the dowry is set higher than the bride’s family can afford, and, sadly, this results in the bride becoming a burden on her family. The bride’s family then struggles to pay the “gift.”
The practice of dowry given from the bride to the groom will only destroy the relation and society. It seems to be in imitation of ancient Hindu culture in which daughters were not given any share in the family property, but were given payments, part of which might be in the form of household goods, as a measure of compensation.
To an extent, dowry is responsible for many other social evils like female infanticides, killing of female babies immediately after birth, early marriage, various sorts of domestic violence against women, bride burning and so on and so forth. The Indian National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) reports that there were about 8172 dowry death cases registered in India in 2008. Incidents of dowry deaths during the year 2008 (8172) have increased by 14.4 per cent over 1998 level (7146).
Dowry is over-discussed, but still remains prevalent in our society with all its strength. Dowry is such a nuisance which has been making our daughters a burden to their parents. In Islam, women are not ‘owned’ by their families and should not be ‘traded with’ in this manner. It is an insulting practice. Or an amount of money demanded from the bridegroom or his family by the bride or her family, usually the bride’s father, without which the daughter will not be given in marriage.In fact, it is a sale where even after the price is paid, satisfaction is not guaranteed. And ironically, the sale is never complete with marriage — the buyer is expected to keep paying in cash and in kind during festivals, to celebrate childbirth and to mark ritualistic occasions. Any excuse is good enough to keep the one-way street laden and moving with gifts.
Many of the men, so called religious and moderate thinkers, support dowry – directly or indirectly. They didn’t oppose it when it comes to their marriage. They become silent spectators when their parents demand dowry from would-be parents-in-law. They have the lame excuses of obeying parents. They didn’t bother to change the home in which they live in, as they have enough strength to change the evil customs. They disobey their parents in so many things which they should not, and when it comes to obey Allah and the Messenger, they realize of obeying parents. Remember, Obeying Allah and his Messenger has priority over everything else, even parents (ref: Al Quran 9:24)
In this era, there are many who demand dowry according to their status and qualification. Doctor, Engineer, MBA, etc. have their respective rates. In Islam, demanding dowry is completely prohibited, even cannot “hint” of demanding dowry. On the contrary, man should compulsory pay “MAHR” to would-be wife. The Glorious Quran commands men to give the required mahr in Surah Nisa (4):4 “And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.” It further says in verse 19 of the same surah “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.”
We have standard beggars in our society, some begs in front of mosque, temple, church; some begs in public places and footpaths; while the others beg in front of parents-in-law, and these are the standard beggars of our society. These are the beggars who silently accept the donations given by their parents-in law.
In ISLAM the man pays and supports his wife, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, any place on earth where the family of the wife pays the husband is weak and backward, and the men are possibly cowards!!!!! As a whole Dowry is an evil and we must take steps to stop this Evil.
May Allah guide us all to the straight path, Aameen.
knowthestraightpath 